I got a new job at a new company last October. The job has been a complete mess. They needed someone technically skilled, I’m not. They have a grind/work 50-60 hours mindset, I do not. I have been miserable because I like to be useful and have something to show for my work, but they haven’t been able to meet me on the middle and find anything valuable for me to do for 9 months.
I took on a side gig at the company to fill my time, meet people, and generally develop myself because my manager and director weren’t. Now, a job on that team is opened, and my manager is acting surprised I want to apply (we’ve had conversations about this being the wrong fit and I want to move on) and generally making me feel like I’m a “climber” and I’ve done something wrong not making this role work when it was never the right fit and not portrayed accurately in the interview process.
I’m just feeling very low and small right now. I wish work didn’t matter this much, but it takes up so much time in my life I can’t help but be effected by the way it makes me feel. I also got so emotional in a call with my manager/dir this week I had to turn my camera off. This reaction is making me feel silly.
This company is somewhere I always myself and I just am sort of lost. Not sure what I’m asking, but putting some of my frustration out there.