I (22F) never really had a passion for something that I wanted to turn into a life long career. I have the hobbies that I love and enjoy doing (such as fitness, cooking, painting, and writing). I graduated college with a degree in business in 2022, and I’ve spent the last year scouring job marking trying to find something I would remotely enjoy.
The idea of sitting at a desk job from 9-5, 5 days a week is repulsing to me. I’m very hyper/active and I cannot imagine being confined to a room or space for long periods of time. After spending months looking for something I might enjoy doing, I got in touch with a family friend who owns a school and he said I would qualify to teach kindergarten. The benefits really stood out to me, especially the holiday as I would like to travel the world while I’m still young.
I’m due to start in august but I don’t know if that something I really want. I’m really scared and I know it’s silly that it keeps me up at night. I simply don’t want to stick to a schedule, deal with commands, abide by rules, deal with others etc… I am well aware that this is the way of life but everyone seems to be struggling to even make enough and save. The cost of living is at an all time high.
What is really giving me anxiety is the fear of losing myself. In college I had a very flexible schedule, which allowed me to work on myself. I’ve began my fitness journey and added so much to my life. I also met my partner whom I often spend some weekdays staying up to 2am with. He in also in eduction but has a very flexible schedule hence is able to sleep in. I have also entered the “dominatrix” scene on Twitter and I’ve made a decent amount of money from that (no nudity is involved, it’s more like a footfetish humiliation kink). I’m worried that having a job would “own me” and I would start to lose the parts of me that I’ve built over the last 5 years.