Little context: I'm a former nurse. Because of bad luck, I had to get a cornea transplantation that ended up failing. Needed 4 more surgeries to correct everything. In the meanwhile, I was at home sick. After the fourth surgery, the surgeon told me to look out for another job. I could not work any more in close contact with patients. The reason for this was that confused or aggressive patients could poke me in the eye and I could lose eyesight for the rest of my life. This was a huge blow but I put on my big boy pants and started searching. I felt so lucky when I landed a job at a tech company that made software for healthcare. They hired me as a sales consultant and promised to learn me the job. I made perfectly clear from the beginning I had never worked in a company and have no experience in an office setting. This should not be a problem, they told me, I got enough time to learn everything. They told me it would at least take 6 months – 1 year to be an active team member. With this in mind, I started my job and immediately felt this would be something I love to do.
Because of everything that happened the past year and the switch to a whole new work environment, I wasn't confident in the beginning. It took me some adjusting time, which felt completely normal. After 2 weeks, I started feeling very bad. I just blamed it on stress and it would go over. But 2 months in the job, it progressively got worse. One day I crashed my company car against a pole in the car park of my work. After a visit to the ER, I was apparently going through life with a heart condition. I called my boss to let her know the doctor advised minimum 1 month sick leave from work. (3 months was recommended) I immediately heard this was not taken well. So after two weeks I went back to work. And there is where everything changed. She was all the time irritated with me. I couldn't do anything good. And not long after, I was called in for a conversation with her and someone of HR. At this moment I was working there 3 months included 2 weeks of sick leave. Basically, they told me they were disappointed and expected much more from me. The conversation was on sided where they blamed me for everything and told me that personal life medical issues is not a company's problem. So it should not be used as an excuse. At one point, the HR person (which was the one who recruited me) started raising her voice when I just asked to give me examples on what point they expected improvement. According to her, I didn't listen because they told me. I told her they told me not specifically what I was lacking, and that in my world this sort of conversation is two-sided and with respect. They told me I had 2 weeks to make improvement, if not they implied by not saying it I would be fired.
I feel this is highly unfair and just not realistic. Maybe it took me a little longer than someone else to adjust. But coming to this conclusion at only three months is way too soon. I'm perfectly capable for this job, I just had bad luck. Yes, a company needs to bring in revenue, and maybe I'm dreaming. But having a serious medical issue in your second month. I don't know, maybe I am wrong, but isn't this something to be just empathetic about. Anyway, after this conversation, I hoped tension would decrease, and I could just prove these two weeks what I was worth. But somehow, the tension that is projected on me by my boss, has now also affected my colleagues. They are making little effort to help me on my way, and leave me hanging with issues I just have not the knowledge yet for to solve it. All the time getting reactions as some things I just got to find out myself. I'm so confused now. 3 months in and I am supposed to not ask questions how to do my job, proving I'm capable of doing my job? How is this even possible!?