First off, I know my family is lucky that we could afford for me to work less in the US. But since I started this new schedule, it’s made me so angry that all the stuff that seems “extra” and a “privilege” that I have time to do now, are actually things that everyone should be able to do while working. 40+ hours a week, especially when you have kids, is just way too much.
I dropped down to a part-time remote position that is contract based, so I only work 30 hours for a few months at a time, and then maybe 0 to 10 hours/week for 1-3 months in between contracts. I did it because my husband’s job got super busy, our toddler was needing more from us, my physical and mental health was really struggling, and it just felt like my family was just… surviving. Not even close to thriving. Since I still work close to full-time hours over half the year, our daughter is still in daycare 4 days/week, which felt a little silly to me. But my job still pays for daycare and a little bit more, so it doesn’t make sense to pull her yet (there is literally no daycare in our area where we could just take her in and out during the year as needed). I thought I would be bored or find myself without anything to do between contracts. And boy was I wrong. I don’t understand how my family survived when we both worked full-time, but then I’m reminded how hard it actually was when I go back to 30 hours a week, which still isn’t even full-time!
Here are all the “privileges” my family now has (“privileges” is in quotation marks, because in this economy, they are a privilege. But they shouldn’t be):
I have time to exercise! My physical and mental health has never been better. My husband has been able to exercise more often as well since I’ve taken on more of the stuff he used to do in the house. I have an anxiety disorder, and because I can exercise, everyone in my family is happier. My husband is less worried about me because my mental health seems better.
I have time to do all of my family’s laundry, do house projects, clean, shop, and cook so both my husband and I have tons more time on the weekends and evenings to spend with our daughter. Hell, I have time to actually open all the mail on a daily basis instead of letting it pile up for a few days until one of us can get to it.
Stuff doesn’t just like… Stay broken in our house for months and months (or even years) on end anymore because we don’t have time to fix it or figure out how to get repair people scheduled with our work. I can just YouTube the problem and/or call the relevant repair guy.
Our house is actually somewhat clean and organized most days. My husband commented he had no idea how much the disorganization stressed him out until it disappeared on my first break and then reappeared during my next contract. But such is life.
I have time to cook actual meals, so my entire family is now eating more healthy. I have time to pack my husband a lunch for work, so he’s not buying unhealthy food as often or spend time at 9 PM packing his lunch for the next day. We are saving money on groceries since we don’t have to rely on premade meals from the frozen section, and I have time to look for sales and hit multiple stores if necessary.
My husband and I each have more of a social life: we each get to see our friends more because we both have more time. I now have a few friends that I see monthly rather than just a few times a year, as does my husband. Not only do I have more physical time to see people, I have the mental capacity to make and commit to the plans.
I am recovering from illnesses faster, because I can actually rest. This is especially big to me since I am a little bit more prone to getting sick and cannot take most OTC medications due to a metabolic disorder, so I generally recover slower than most people from even just a basic cold.
Like… On paper, none of those things sound like they should be extra. None of those things should be privileges. Seriously. Exercise? Cleaning? Opening mail in a timely manner? How are those privileges? But when both my husband and I were working full time, they definitely were. Our daily lives revolved around getting to work on time and scrounging enough food for all of us to survive. Everything else felt like an afterthought, and I didn’t realize it until I actually had time to do it all.