I know for a fact that if I didn't have to work, I would be dead before I hit 30. Due to drinking. I used to drink roughly a fifth of vodka a day, give or take. I put my family through HELL while I was still drinking that often.
Enter job. I hate my job. I hate being tired every day at the end of every day. My legs still hurt from my last shift when I wake up in the morning. Don't get me wrong either – I don't have an easy, cushy job. It's somewhat easy at the moment but still requires you to walk pretty much all day long and be on your feet all day long. It is also mentally stressful. I am training to be a cna and work at a nursing home. In the three weeks I have been there, two residents have died. Many express clear sadness and distress from being in a nursing home and some literally cry in pain and plead with you to stop (This is from observation of cnas, by the way – I am not technically allowed to touch patients.) but you have to change them anyway. We have one patient that frequently asks cnas why she is still alive and frankly in my opinion appears to be depressed, moreso than other patients.
But at the same time, I know what I would devolve into if I didn't have a job. I feel like an actual human being for the first time in months. I don't understand how anybody could keep up with personal care, nutrition, and not drinking themselves to death as a result of long term unemployment. I realize that this is probably a sign that I don't care about my own wellbeing as much as I should. When I am unemployed and not searching, the ONLY thing I care about is alcohol and getting drunk.
Ever since getting a job, I've realized I don't even need meds. I've been doing just fine without lithium or caplyta, which idek how I will ever get refilled anyway since I work 10-6 and what doctors office is open past 6 and fuck going in at like 8 and then hoping my wait isn't so long that it makes me late to work, which is a 17 minute drive from the doctor (+ the 25 minute drive it would take to the doctor.) Idk. I just feel like my real problem was being unemployed. I wasn't mentally ill – I was literally just unemployed. I probably could have avoided all three psych ward stays if I had just had a fucking job.