Recently got a barely above minimum wage job as a care assistant in a care home, I'm still doing the online e-learning and today was my first proper shadowing night shift. I read something disturbing in one of the patient cases and I had an emotional reaction, I just… began crying since it hit me. This job is hell, the rent needs paying and I refuse to go on benefits again after all the abuse from my government, I'm tired of needing handouts.
There is this career progression thing in the company, I want to hop to admin so fast. I'm not sure I can take care of ten people, some with complex needs on their own. I took this job because I was frightened of losing my home, but now I'm down in the trenches, it's going to be 30 hours of hell.
Any advice on how to go forward? I feel like I'm just being weak, but… All this brings back shit memories I don't want. I used to be a self-employed writer, but now the cash cow's running dry.